This just cannot be summer love.

You know, summer is like a breath of fresh air. Literally, no school (unless you bring on the burden of summer school) and pretty much no stress (only if your car breaks down or you have no car), but overall summer is supposed to be a point in the entire year where you get a break for yourself and your family. You don't have to constantly put up with people causing pain or drama, it is naturally a breath of fresh air.

Today I have realized that summer can also really be a bummer, because everyone leaves and if you stay behind you're like the ugly duckling of the bunch so you have no one that likes you. Also, if your best friend happens to WORK all the time it's also kind of a bummer, because all the plans you could possibly make get ruined.

On a more positive note, I have a brilliant idea for a haircut/hairdye that I want to get and I'm really excited about it. If I like it enough I will probably stop changing my hair so much and keep it one way for at least three months. (Sad I know, but I change my haircolor and hairstyle more then I change my clothes) I just need to pick a date for this hair change-a-roo and then I'll probably be the happiest camper on the planet. (I'm getting a little tired of the red shoulder length)

You want to know something that is beautiful? Butterflies, their amazing colors and patterns are just so dazzling, it's great. It kind of makes me want to buy that grow your own butterflies thing on the infomercials on TV. I get dazed by small things, I know.

I have to say that Julian Casablancas is a BRILLIANT singer/songwriter. His music is probably the only music that I can say I relate to, because he's so into that whole "inside your mind" deal kinda like morals, but not exactly, and his voice is wonderful! to place the cherry on top. I'm kind of glad he branched off from the strokes a little bit to make his solo album, because his own work that he works on on his own is just remarkable. Have I mentioned that I have a huge crush on him? Well I do. I'd really like to attend one of his shows eiether the strokes or his solo tour, but I just want to see his genuis self on that stage and be able to sing to every word he is singing. It's a dream of mine.

I don't exactly know what this whole post is about, but I'm sure it's like a sneak peak of my mind on a daily basis. I never have anything that's actually worth it plastered in my brain, just things that could interest a child or a angsty teenager. I don't often show who I really am when people are around me, those who have gotten to know me probably know what I'm sitting here blabbering about, but I find it hard to just be me to random people, it's something I'm trying to get rid of.

I think I've been losing sleep more often then I should, probably because I have been watching way to many scary movies so I'm afraid that some creepy thing will come and get me at night.

This summer it is my goal to convince my parents to let me go to California, it is no fun missing all of your cousins and being stuck in a state you were forced to come to in the first place. I hate being away from my family, I really do. As much as I don't show it, I'm not complete without them and I need them, even though they are all older then me I still miss them each and every day I get some time to sit alone, sometimes I get teary eyed (like now) because I feel a HUGE gaping hole inside of me that cannot be filled. It's only filled when I see my family and so this summer it is my goal to see them and interact with them, because I just think it's not fair.

And on that I shall leave you, Have yourself a merry little summer and may all your wishes come true! :)